Script+Period+3+Robert_Thomas_Sam+R

= Excuses, Excuses  = Bill – Trouble Maker, Funny, Amiable Mr. Glair – Strict, Bossy, Skeptical Principal Peters – Amiable, Gullible //As the curtain rises, Bill is sitting in a classroom at his desk. Mr. Glair is checking for homework. Bill has not done it, and is therefore looking quite nervous and guilty. Cacti is written on the board.//

**Mr. Glair –** Now everyone, please take out your essay on the Average Life of a Cactus.

// When Mr. Glair sees the nervous look on Bill’s face, he asks him to read the first paragraph of his essay. //

**Mr. Glair –** Bill, why don’t you read the first paragraph of your essay? **Bill –** Ahh, Mr. Glair, my best pal, my favorite teacher, my mentor, the one that always helps me when I… **Mr. Glair –**//(looking irritated). –// You don’t have it, do you? **Bill –** Ahh, the word "don’t," that’s one of my favorite words, such rich meaning. I mean, I wish I had thought of combining the words "do" and "not." I mean, SUCH COMPLEXITY. As for my homework, I think "don’t" is a little strong for my homework. **Mr. Glair –** COME SEE ME, NOW! (//Mr. Glair shouts.//) **Bill –** Why Certainly, Mr. Glair, and did I mention your tie looks spiffy today? **Mr. Glair-** I’m NOT WEARING A TIE!! (shouting and looking very angry) **Bill –** Well if you were, it would be spiffy. //(smiling)//

// Bill gets out of his seat and turns to face Mr. Glair. Mr. Glair has his back to the door. //

**Bill –** I believe the question you asked me is why I don’t have my homework. This is a very simple question, yet it does not have a simple answer. In fact, iy has a quite complex answer that I am sure you will find fascinating. // At this point Principal Peters walks in the classroom carrying a clipboard. Since Mr. Glair’s back is turned, he does not see the principal walk in. The principal takes a seat directly behind Mr. Glair. //
 * Bill –** You see, Mr. Glair, I was outside enjoying the day and was taking a walk. I stepped in a puddle. I thought it was just water, but it turned out to be acid rain (//when he says this, Principal Peters looks horrified)// . The acid burned a hole in my shoes, so then I had to go out and buy some new shoes. (//he takes his shoes off and holds them up. Principal Peters gives him the thumbs up sign)//

**Bill –** I finally thought I could do my homework. But then, We came home and found out our house had been robbed of all the milk. My parents started freaking out because tonight was apparently their annual cereal party. Apparently they invite every single living person that they know over so that they can all "experience" new cereals. It's a total waste of time, but my parents are crazy. So they dragged me to the store to get milk. But they were out of milk, which really ticked me off because the commercials say (//starts singing a jingle)// Supermarket, The place that has EVERYTHING! Well, guess what?? THEY DON’T STINK’N HAVE EVERYING! (a//t this Principal Peters puts his head in his hands and sobs silently.)// But fortunately, the next store had some. **Bill –** I finally thought that I could get my homework done. But right as I was about to start, my mom called me downstairs and asked me to try this new kind of cereal. Well, apparently I’m REALLY allergic to something in the cereal, so I started gagging. I was rushed to the hospital, put under sleeping pills, and didn’t wake up until this morning. Fortunately, I was fine and able to go to school. But I had such a horrible day yesterday; I just couldn’t fit in my homework. I’m sure you understand. **Mr. Glair –** You think I am stupid enough to believe that? Maybe our stupid mess of a principal would believe that, but not me! **Principal Peters –** //stands up, looking shocked -// Mr. Glair, what did you just say about me? **Mr. Glair –** P-P-P-P-Principal Peters. I didn’t know you were here. See, I was just comparing you to Einstein… Yeah, Einstein. **Principal Peters-** You know, I think that a little respect might go a long way. But you lost your chance. If you don’t get out of this classroom in the next five seconds… **Mr. Glair-** No, Please give me one more chance!! **Principal Peters-** Five… **Mr. Glair –** (//down on his knees)// I’m SORRY! **Principal Peters-** Four, three, two, one, SCRAM. Now Bill, I completely believe your story; you must have gone through so much. You are excused from all homework this week. **Mr. Glair –** What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **Bill –** Sweet, No HOMEWORK!
 * Principal peters –** GET OUT! (Leads //Mr. Glair away and out of room)//